Many of our life choices are unconsciously guided by cognitive scripts that feel like our own ideas but are actually inherited from past habits, cultural pressures, or exaggerated ideals.
Book: Tiny Experiments
Have you ever made a big life choice and later wondered, “Did I really choose that, or was I just following a script?”
Cognitive scripts are mental templates that tell us how to behave in familiar situations. They are like personal rules but set by others. They’re great when ordering food or waiting at the doctor. But when it comes to bigger life decisions, they can steer us off track.
We often make major life decisions without realizing we’re acting out scripts. In Tiny Experiments, neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff lists three of the most common cognitive scripts:
- Sequel Script makes you feel like you must continue your past story. You studied finance, so now you must work in finance. You’ve dated a certain type, so you repeat it. It ignores change and shuts down growth.
- Crowd Pleaser Script shapes your choices around what others expect. You pick a job to please your parents. It leads to jobs, lifestyles, and relationships picked for approval, not joy.
- Epic Script insists everything you do must be huge and meaningful. Starting a café isn’t enough unless it “changes the world.” This pressure creates burnout and the false idea that a quiet life isn’t worth living.
We don’t notice these scripts because they feel normal. But questioning them can open the door to better, more personal decisions. Asking Would I still do it If I could never talk about this to anyone or if my 80-year-old self and 10-year-old self would be proud of can be more useful.